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How not to be an office outcast

BY: PATTY BETITA,  Manila Times,  July 7, 2005

Last week, I conducted a lecture on office etiquette for rank and file employees of a company. It was very interesting to note that many of them were curious and eager to know what should be their appropriate conduct at work.

Using past research as reference for my introduction, I touched on teaching children manners as soon as they can understand simple words or gestures from parents.

You must be wondering: What is the connection of teaching children manners to office etiquette? The answer is a lot! Teaching your kids proper manners early in life will equip them with the social skills and tools they need to effectively communicate with people in any given situation. Children carry throughout their lives the lessons that parents teach them.

How we deal with people and perform as professionals in the workplace both have a lot to do with how we were brought up. If we lack manners at home, it will definitely manifest at work. You will certainly agree when I say that whenever our kids behave improperly, people assume it is how their parents brought them up. We as parents may find that hard to accept, and are often angered by such statements. But to some extent, aren’t we really guilty of that accusation?

In the working world where there are specified goals, you need to cooperate with people to reach those goals. However, you must also maintain a certain level of power to be heard and effect necessary changes.

Several fundamentals of etiquette apply to business and social life. Here are few things you should not do if you want to make good impression both in and out of the office.

POOR TABLE MANNERS: Wiping your hands on clothing, burping, elbows on tables, talking with your mouth full, and being over indulgent with food and alcohol.

INAPPROPRIATE WELCOME: Failure to greet someone, having a weak handshake or no handshake at all, and failure to introduce an associate to another.

POOR LISTENING SKILLS: Not paying attention to a speaker, talking while the presenter is speaking, and asking a question just covered by the speaker.

Note: I always encounter people who behave this way in some of my lectures but I read somewhere that the true test of manners is having the patience for those who don’t have it.

POOR DRESS AND GROOMING: Sloppy appearance, wearing a gym or party dress for business, and wearing revealing clothes at work.

POOR TELEPHONE BEHAVIOR: Not returning calls, eating while on the phone, slamming down the phone, long hold times, and using an argumentative tone.

INCONSIDERATE USE OF COMMON SPACE: Leaving your mess in a common space, leaving dirty coffee mugs in conference rooms, and leaving the stapler or copier empty after using the last staples or paper.

Note: Yes, we do have janitors in the office but if there are simple tasks we can do ourselves, let us not wait for them to clean up after us.

INAPPROPRIATE BEHAVIOR: Scratching, flossing teeth, yawning or coughing with mouth uncovered, playing with hair, putting on makeup, cleaning fingernails, playing with change in pockets, adjusting undergarments

DISREGARD OF OTHER PEOPLE’S TIME: Interrupting people at work, keeping people waiting, and not showing up for a scheduled appointment.

NOT PAYING YOUR FAIR SHARE: Not paying enough to cover your entire meal – drink, meal and tax – when at restaurant with peers.

SNOOPING: Reading other people’s faxes, e-mail, computer screen, or mail.

Among the no-no’s I listed, did you recognize any such act you’ve done in the workplace? Don’t torture yourself if you have – we are all guilty of accidental infractions. But if you make these infractions habits, you may find yourself being passed over for promotions or no longer included in client presentations or luncheons. So watch your manners at work.